Humour
Drummers
A chap thinks to himselfone day that he would like to do a big band arrangement. So he goes into a shop and says to the guy behind the counter “excuse me mate can I have some score paper…one of those special Osmiroid music writing pens, and some of that R H Ms manuscript… oh and some pencils and a couple of rubbers “(erasers in common parlence!).
The guy behind the counter grins at him and say “your a Drummer aren’t you” to which he reply’s yes… looking confused he asks “how can you tell”. The guy behind the counter says “Because this is a butchers you muppet”!!!!!! ….Bwa, Bwa, Bwa, BaAaAh.
Q: How many Drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 201. 1 to actually change it, the other 200 to tell you how Dave Weckl** would have done it.
**Can be swapped for the drummer Du Jour ie Steve Gadd.
Sax
Why don’t sax players like playing soprano?
There’s no place to hide your drugs
Sadam Husein, Hitler and Kenny G are all in a room together.
You have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot?
Kenny G .. Twice
Trumpet
What did little Johnny’s mother tell him when he said “I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?”
“But Johnny, you can’t do both.”
How Can You Tell If Theres a ….. knocking at your door:
- Singer…. She doesn’t know when to come in.
- Bass Player: Slows down
Q & A
Q: How many Musician jokes are there?
A: Just one — all the rest are true!!
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Cos he had his cock stuck up the chickens arse.
Q: Whats 40 feet wide and smells of piss.
A: An Old Aged Pensioners Hokey Cokey
Q:How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
A:You can tell it’s coming, but you can’t do anything about it
… Did you know I had a distant relative that died at auschwits: He fell off a watch tower. … courtesy of Bernard Manning thanx BM